"Everything that keeps me together is falling apart
I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over.
My boss just quit the job
Says he's going out to find blind spots and he'll do it."
I played this song Friday night after a long day at work and an aggressive workout leading into what was supposed to be a zen yoga experience. Shower done and rum drink in hand I prepared for listening to music and writing and cleaning my Friday away.
This song, Third Planet, is often my go to for hanging around the house so I was caught off guard when these lyrics hit me like a rock and the tears started streaming down.
In fact my boss had just quit the job. After 26 years he was done, and he gave the news during a meeting in the morning.
In fact my boss had just quit the job. After 26 years he was done, and he gave the news during a meeting in the morning.
It was a shock to everybody, especially those that had worked with him for decades.
He's been at the lab for almost my whole lifespan, an amount of time I really can't even fathom. He was mellow and laid back and the kind of boss that you could complain to and feel better when you left.
Because our work got done for the most part with few mistakes, our manager let us do our own thing, and we mostly just came to him with questions or problems, working in our room without supervision.
The shock of his news was so strong it was several minutes before someone around the conference table congratulated him. We all did really wish him the best too! Selfishly we were all just worried about his replacement.
A good manager can make or break a job as quick as anything.
I would be lying if I said my tears fell mostly for my boss leaving, if at all, truth be told. While he was a great boss and knowledgeable and honest, really he was just someone I worked with. My sorrows came from the wanderlust I currently felt and the pangs of jealousy at the one who was flying away.
I would be lying if I said my tears fell mostly for my boss leaving, if at all, truth be told. While he was a great boss and knowledgeable and honest, really he was just someone I worked with. My sorrows came from the wanderlust I currently felt and the pangs of jealousy at the one who was flying away.
There's nothing I want more right now than to do just that! I have been trying to move away for a year now, but sometimes these things aren't so easy. I haven't had a reason to leave other than the this compelling need to though, and my family my everything is here.
Other than the few places I've traveled to, and the national geographic articles I read that held views of places in the world I could only imagine, I really know nothing of living anywhere else.
I thought it would be great if I found an amazing job that would hire me. The decision would be easy then. But when the world is open to you and the wild calls to you, where do you choose to go?
If I had the means I would have been long gone anyway. It's not the bonds of family or the mechanics of routine and normalcy, but the constraints of a living wage that tie me down.
I am grateful for the opportunity to use my degree and learn about environmental science and law at my current job, but I am nowhere close to living out my true dreams.
Now, in this moment in time, I work between four windowless walls where the dull and unfriendly concrete floor meets the equally cold and unfeeling mauve walls. The need for change is overwhelming and the call of the wild beats loudly in my heart.
The indecision of what I wanted to do with my life never existed for me, just the how to get it. I went into the science field because that is really what I care about. I picked a biology degree with the hopes of working outdoors or with animals.
The indecision of what I wanted to do with my life never existed for me, just the how to get it. I went into the science field because that is really what I care about. I picked a biology degree with the hopes of working outdoors or with animals.
When I was young I thought I would grow up and just save things. I would ride my bike around the neighborhood with my friends pretending we were flying planes all over the world rescuing imaginary animals in our bike baskets.
I saw myself like Indiana Jones traveling the world traversing jungles and deserts to stop evil. I thought I would have a pet tiger like Jasmine in Aladdin and that I would start an animal sanctuary and hang out with gorillas like in Mighty Joe Young. No animal would suffer or be alone at my sanctuary that was always open and full of happiness.
In the sanctuary the animal's natural wild lands would always be available for them to live out their days in pristine environments. This is who I've always been and no matter how far fetched it seems this is where my dreaming lies.
While my days are filled with instruments and chemicals and dirty dishwater, my mind is always travelling to the animals and the lands that I love.
One day I'll live in the wild and spend all of my days in the wild, and if I go inside it won't be cold chemistry walls that I see, it'll be walls that I built with my own hands and sweat. A house that lives with the environment not off of it. Until then I will continue to live as I always have speaking for the animals and the trees to whoever will listen.
Just as the Lorax.
Just as the Lorax.
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